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Marketside Refrigerated Double Sausage Egg and Cheese Muffin (Walmart)

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It's like a cheese crime scene in there... My wife and I were out at Walmart shopping for groceries, something we never do, when I realized I needed stuff for my work lunches. Rather than doing the smart thing, and grabbing some bread and sandwich fixin’s, I decided to search around for some frozen things to take with me. And that’s how I stumbled on an entire array of “Marketside” foods, which are designed to look like they were made fresh in store (they are refrigerated instead of frozen), but are actually mass-produced, like everything else inside a Walmart store. Prepping it for human consumption is very easy: pop it out onto a paper towel, stick it in the microwave, and cook for a minute on each side, flipping it after 30 seconds. Well, that’s what the actual directions stated, anyway; as usual, I took an even lazier way out, keeping the sandwich in the plastic (but opening one end), and just cooking the whole thing for a minute, with no flipping. Sure enough, the sandwich