Saturday, October 3, 2020

The Nobleman Cooling Face and Body Cleansing Wipes (Dollar Tree)

Not too shabby for a mere buck.
 

I'm a man; as such, I have neither time nor need for skincare routines. Anything I do, I do out of pure hygienic necessity, such as showering on a semi-daily basis, and shaving way less often than I should; if it weren't for my wife buying me clothes and instructing me in the ways of appearance, I'd probably look like a slob every time I left the house.

However, there are days and times where showering just hasn't been very feasible lately, with a child who likes to push his bedtime ever so late, and a work schedule that requires me to be up at the buttcrack of dawn. Occasionally, it really feels like it's either take a shower, or eat dinner and hang out with my wife—and I'm going to take the latter any day of the week. And that's part of the reason why I decided to grab these on a rather sudden whim while at Dollar Tree one fine summer afternoon.

I'm honestly unaccustomed to body wipes, but obviously I know the purpose they serve and what they do. I was really drawn to the “cooling” descriptor on the packaging though, as I've never used such a wipe before, and was pretty excited at the prospect of a Vick's Vapo-Rub kind of cooling sensation spreading throughout my body. How could I possibly say no? Especially when it's a mere dollar for thirty wipes. Hell, I could avoid showering for an entire month!

The first thing I like to do when I get any kind of scented dollar store product is give it a good whiff before I buy it; it's a pretty well-known thing that a lot of cheap scented products smell like absolute horseshit. Ideally, I do this test in the store, which is much easier to do with shampoos and body washes, but not so easy to do with these wipes, which are sealed prior to use. Alas, a quick attempt in store yielded no noticeable results, so I bit the bullet and decided to risk my hard-earned dollar.

Honestly, the scent is about what I expected: it smells kind of like a menthol pad that was then dipped in a vat of cheap chemicals, with the end result vaguely resembling a lemon cleaning product. However, despite that rather ugly description, the smell is also very light; that definitely helps make it much more appealing. There's also something about it that smells kind of refreshing, too. Besides, it's certainly not so bad that it's worse than the smell of BO, so that's another solid plus.

The “cooling” sensation isn't nearly as strong as I was hoping, but for a dollar, I feel like I can't be too disappointed. On the positive side, it is noticeable, and does feel good, especially on the face; I can kind of see why women use products like this all the time, because it does feel pretty soothing as it's being applied. The feeling of freshness dissipates rather quickly, as does the scent, but considering the smell isn't really all that great to begin with, that's not much of a knock. It does do a good job controlling wayward odors, which is really the main thing I was hoping to get out of it.

Lastly, the wipes are pretty sturdy, and are much bigger than I was expecting: they're easily applied anywhere on the body, and don't feel like they're ever going to rip in mid-use. I've seen flushable wipes that are much smaller, which is always concerning to me, and so I was kind of expecting these to be that small, as well, especially considering there's much less at stake here; despite the somewhat odd smell, consider me pleasantly surprised.

Overall: 7/10. The smell isn't that great, and the cooling sensation dissipates rather quickly (and isn't as strong as I was hoping), but overall, this is a solid product for the price. There are 30 generous-sized wipes in each package, and they are sturdy enough to go anywhere you need them to, without fear of them ripping or falling apart. I don't typically use products like this, but I'll definitely consider replacing these when I run out, as they are good for quick “touch-ups” of certain areas between showers, that are especially prone to perspiration, while the cooling sensation also makes them rather relaxing, especially on the face. I have to say this is more than I expected to get out of a dollar, that's for sure.

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