Sunday, August 2, 2020

Millville Fiber Now 90-Calorie Chocolate Fudge Brownies (Aldi)

Yes, that's right...each bar weighs less than an ounce.
Tired of the same ol’, same ol’ breakfast bars, my eyes were caught by a long-forgotten friend of mine: fiber brownies! It had been a long while—so long, in fact, that I couldn't even remember if I liked them or not the first time around—but after having what felt like everything else in the breakfast bar aisle, I decided to give them another shot.

I actually tend to avoid fiber bars for one reason and one reason only: I always equate them with taking shits, and if there’s one thing I don’t need regulated, it’s my pooping schedule. It’s not as perfectly regular as it once was, but—pardon the overshare—it’s pretty darn consistent, and is probably the one thing in my health regiment that doesn't need fixed (or that doesn't seem to anyway, haha). While that’s arguably fiber’s most well-known benefit, there are two lost in the shuffle that can actually help me out: lowering cholesterol, and controlling blood sugar levels. I do have (marginally) high cholesterol, and my blood sugar is prone to occasionally going off the rails, generally when I’m an idiot and exert myself too much without proper nourishment beforehand. Obviously, this isn’t going to be a “fix-all” for those issues by themselves, but it makes a solid case for eating these more, beyond the bowel-emptying characteristics for which fiber is known.

Anyhoo, enough about me, let’s take a look at what we’re here for!

I suppose I should have expected it from the “90 Calories” in the name - or paid more attention to the packaging, which reveals the 0.88 oz. size of each bar - but taking one out of the box produced a sinking feeling when I saw how small they are. I mean, I knew they would be smallish, but these are so tiny my three-year-old could down one and immediately wonder where the rest of it went. Still, the brownie itself looked pretty good, with chocolate chips protruding through the chocolatey exterior of the brownie, and a nice amount of chocolate drizzled on top. Aside from the disappointing form factor, which looks like a full size bar got blasted by a mini-ray gun, it otherwise looks tasty.

This actually turns out to be a pretty good indicator of actual size.
The brownie part is soft, as was expected, and serves up a nice, bittersweet chocolate taste. It’s a little bit dry, which is the norm for this type of mass-produced bar, and I seem to detect an almost chalky texture somewhere in the aftertaste…it reminds me of the same type found in “high-protein” bars, or other treats that focus on healthiness, although it doesn’t seem to linger as long as the worst offenders. However, the chocolate chips really do their part to keep the texture interesting, providing a nice bit of semi-melty pleasure for about two out of the four bites that will be required for you to completely finish it (assuming you're savoring it, like I do).

It should be pretty clear from the packaging, but this is a snack that is most certainly geared more toward adults: despite the bountiful number of different chocolates contained herein, it’s not very sweet at all. This is partly because the chocolate chips and chocolate drizzle are made with dark chocolate (which I usually can’t stand), which helps to keep the brownie itself from becoming too . But then again, it's a breakfast bar, so that shouldn't be too surprising.

For the right person, though, this is a great way to grab some fiber, while also taking at least a small bite out of that chocolate craving. The small size will leave most merely wanting more, like it did for me, but those with much more willpower (or smaller appetites) will find plenty here to like. 

Well, something small to like all of.

Overall: 6/10. It's got a good, semi-sweet flavor, thanks to the triple-chocolate ambush awaiting your tastebuds, while the $1.75 retail price is pretty good for this type of fiber-filled product. Offsetting this is a slight dryness in the texture, and an alarmingly small 90 calorie size (equating to just 0.88 oz. of weight per bar), which is a little too...little for me. Because of the size (they're gone just as I'm getting warmed up to the idea of eating one) these only make my grocery list as a very occasional buy, but those that need fiber in their diet and that enjoy chocolate might find more here to like than I did.

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