Friday, September 27, 2019

Daily Basics Soft & Strong Bath Tissue (Aldi)

A good product for the non-discerning asswiper.
My wife and I have differing viewpoints on what constitutes a “good” toilet paper: She prefers to have the pillow-soft, multi-ply paper that caresses the privates as it delicately cleans; I say, as long as it wipes without tearing, either itself or my asshole, then it's a winner. Why spend more for “luxury”? After all, even the more expensive stuff still performs the same function in the same manner: manually cleaning your privates after you use the toilet. Where's the luxury in that?

Our compromise? Since we have two bathrooms, I buy her whatever kind she wants from Aldi (she's thankfully not “above” private label brands, as long as it's appropriately more expensive), and I usually just get the dollar-store special to keep in my personal toilet room. I don't have a “favorite” brand, so I tend to try whatever's available wherever I happen to be when I remember (generally too late) that I'm out of toilet paper. And on one occasion, that happened to be at Aldi, where they offer Daily Basics Soft and Strong Bath Tissue.

Many stores have their own private label toilet paper brands, and in almost all instances, you're going to be looking at around a $1 price tag for four rolls. Aldi's version is noticeable because it's cheaper...much cheaper. We're talking to the tune of just $.59 for four standard-size rolls. But is that price even worth it to an indifferent man like myself? Or is it even too cheap for me? Let's take a look, shall we?

You can tell it's cheap the moment you take it out of the packaging: even though it's 2-ply (I guess I do have a preference after all: two-ply TP tends to be stronger), the two layers are very loosely attached to one another. This gives it an overall sloppy appearance that tells everyone that comes into contact with it that you're a cheapskate, even if it's on a roll and the packaging is hidden. The cheapness is even more apparent when you to use it: the cardboard roll in the middle is not synchronized to move with the rest of the roll, almost threatening to fall out at any moment. I don't typically use it on a roller (I'm a man and too lazy to take the 2 seconds required to set that up) so I can't speak as to how they perform on there, but I'm sure it'd be fine...just maybe a little bumpy and aesthetically displeasing.

On to “performance”: despite the evident cheapness, it functions as well as any other toilet paper I've tried, at least in accordance with my weak standards. That is to say I've never had it tear in mid-wipe, or cause any other issues that have lead to...unpleasant situations. As can be expected, the “comfort” level is certainly lacking, so don't expect it to feel like you're caressing your anus with satin bedsheets, or anything, but it's still not even the worst toilet paper I've tried in this regard.

“Bottom” line (pun intended) is that this is a pretty solid TP for the non-discerning family members, or for those on a strict budget, or a great paper to have on hand for guest rooms, or as an emergency backup for when you run out of the good stuff, or a restroom that doesn't see much action. Because, let's face it, you can't really expect much when you're paying $.15 a roll—and “not much” is exactly what this delivers. But in a good way.

Overall: 7/10. It certainly looks cheaply made, with wobbly cardboard rolls that look ready to fall out at any given time, two layers that seem to be held together with a single dab of glue, and it's nowhere near the softest tissue paper on the market, but for a ridiculous $.59 per 4-pack, it's worth all those tradeoffs for the non-discerning asswiper. Even if it's not for you, it functions as an emergency backup for when you run out of the good stuff and forget to replenish, or as a cheap option for guest bathrooms. It might not be a great toilet paper in any sense of the word, but it's great for the price, as I've used far worse that were nearly twice the price.

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