Friday, June 29, 2018

Outlaw Energy Original Energy Drink (Big Lots)


Such an outlaw, that he tastes exactly like every other "original" energy drink out there.
Reviewing energy drinks is as tedious for me to write them, as it has to be for you to read them. It’s shocking, and something I never quite realized, at just how similar all of the “original” ones taste. Sure, there are slight differences with flavor profiles--after all, they’re not going to taste EXACTLY the same, but what is it about the combination of apparently required energy beverage ingredients that forces all of them to taste so similar? 

Outlaw Energy is no exception. While their “Passion Punch” tasted like a tropical fruit utopia (made up entirely of chemicals, with no actual juice anywhere to be found), the original tastes just like you would expect an “original” version of an energy drink to taste like. It’s not as tart as, say, Red Bull, but the same basic flavor profile is very similar to all the rest. If you’re new to energy drinks, you might get a kick out of it, but I found it completely boring. The only thing it does have going for it, is a hefty amount of caffeine (250 mg per can; slice that in half for an 8 oz. serving), so it really does kick you into gear. But so do any other number of energy drinks, so take that with a grain of salt.

Perhaps its best selling point (and, apparently, the ONLY reason it sells) is the $.50 price tag at select Big Lots stores. So it definitely gets marks for giving you a quick kick for just a few coins. But like I said, so do any number of their rotating beverages. Oh, it also has a cool, textured can!

God, all this feels like déjà vu.

Overall: I’m just going to go ahead and let YOU decide the rating for this. Here are the facts of the case: 1.) It tastes like every other “original” energy drink (a taste that I’m so accustomed to, I find boring); 2.) it has quite a bit of caffeine content (250 mg per 16 oz. can), so there’s a good chance it will give you a good boost of lasting energy; 3.) it retails for only $.50 at select Big Lots stores, presumably while supplies last; 4.) the can is textured. Start with “10” points, and deduct 4 points if you’re unimpressed with fact #1, and subtract two points for every other fact after that that leaves you disappointed. Total everything up, and there’s your final score!

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