Sunday, December 20, 2015

Deutsche Kuche Artichoke and Cheese Strudel Pastries (Aldi)

The crust is flaky perfection; the less we speak of the filling, the better.
I’ve tried a few things from the Deutsche Kuche line from Aldi, and have really only been moderately impressed.  This is kind of shocking, considering Aldi is a German retailer, and the products in the DK line are German, so you would think the products they would export to other countries would be the “best-of-the-best” that they have to offer.

My wife and I picked up Deutsche Kuche’s Artichoke and Cheese Strudel on a recent trip, and were very excited to try it.  The thought of a more savory pastry was intriguing, as really the only experience I have with strudels are the national brand toaster pastries that come complete with an icing packet…needless to say, I haven’t experienced a lot of food culture outside of the United States.

I was very impressed with the texture of these right out of the oven; or, more specifically, the flakiness of the crust.  It falls apart perfectly in your hands, and really seems like something you would get fresh out of a bakery, rather than a frozen food box.  It not only looks buttery and delicious, but you can also get the distinct aroma of artichokes and cheese.  With excitement building, I dove in and took my first bite…

…and that’s when the experience completely fell apart.  These things are terrible.  Easily in the top 10 worst products I’ve ever had from Aldi.  Quite simply put, there’s no taste, only the texture of the crispy, flaky dough.  If you were forced to take a bite without smelling it first, there would be no way to tell what was in it at all…the filling is just a bland mass of tastelessness that is as uninviting as it sounds.  There’s no artichoke, and for God’s sakes, no cheese!  That it didn’t get tossed directly in the trash of the test kitchen is pretty astonishing in itself--that it actually made it onto store shelves is truly a modern-day travesty.  Avoid this junk at all costs.

Overall: 1/10.  The dough is enticingly flaky and light, but that’s where the positives end.  It must have been very hard to make a product out of artichokes and cheese that has absolutely ZERO flavor, but Aldi somehow did it.  These things are absolutely terrible, and a waste of money in every sense of the word.  If you really have to replicate the experience of eating this, sniff a bag of cheese while chewing on a sponge.

4 comments:

  1. A good thing about Aldi is the DOUBLE GUARANTEE that comes with every item they sell. Don't like something for whatever reason? All you need to do is take the remains of the item (or packaging) and your receipt to the store for a full refund (and if you'd like to give it a 2nd chance - a replacement).

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    1. It's ironic that I have never returned anything from there in the ten years I've been going...even if something sucks, I never even think to do it. It's almost as if that DOUBLE GUARANTEE is offered as sort of an interesting take on reverse psychology: Maybe by widely offering and advertising it on all their products, people would be less inclined to do it.

      Either way, I've heard stories of people returning computers and other expensive things months after purchasing it, without a receipt, and Aldi taking it back with no questions asked. That might not be the norm, but it's cool to see them stand behind their products!

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  2. Obviously, it is a mater of taste. But, I love artichoke dip and that is what the filling tasted like to me. It was rich and creamy with that indescribable taste of artichoke. Combined with the flaky crust, it was a 10/10 for me.

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    1. I love artichoke dip too and didn't get anything resembling that. Even my wife hated it, and she has much more "advanced" taste buds than I.

      Still, Aldi does change their recipes from time-to-time so maybe we just got a bad batch or an old formula. We'll give it another go in the future, I'm sure. Glad you liked it, though!

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