Sunday, August 23, 2015

Tuscan Garden Lightly Salted Crispy Onions (Aldi)

Virtually the same as their regular crispy onions, repackaged and upcharged for your convenience.
This won’t be a review so much as a confession:  I’ve been duped.  I’ve been duped by the very supermarket that I have trusted for several years.  I’ve been duped in a way that’s even worse than the time I accidentally picked up the name brand honey nut cereal because Aldi so cleverly put it right next to their brand.  And what is the item that has so cleverly deceived me?  Why, it’s none other than this bag of crispy onions.

Look at it.  Looks innocent, doesn’t it?  Yet concealed within its 3.5 oz. packaging lies a horrible, horrible secret.  One that will no doubt alienate the entire fan base Aldi has strived to collect throughout the last few difficult years.  And yet, I should have seen it.  I should have paid attention to the signs and the clues that were right under my nose the entire time.  But I didn’t.  Not until it was too late.

What has rubbed me in such a curious manner?  What has caused me such an intense ire; a rage that boils from within the very depths of my own soul?  That threatens to tear asunder the very fabric of my delicate existence, destroying myself and everyone I hold dear in the process?

These damned crispy onions are the exact same onions you can get in their damned Chef’s Cupboard line.  You know, the French fried ones that everyone’s grandmothers’ put in their green bean casseroles during the Thanksgiving season?  You know, the ones available in a can that’s almost twice the size of this little bag, and for only two quarters more?  Yeah, those.  Yet here they are “repurposed”, thrown into different packaging, marketed as a damn salad topping, and priced slightly higher.

Tastewise, these are about exactly the same as the aforementioned “Frech fried onions”, as the apparent decrease in sodium doesn’t really do much at all for the taste.  In the sake of full disclosure, I will mention that there is also another variety of these “salad toppers” available, and that is garlic pepper, which might taste a little different and be more worthy of your time.  If you really want these on a salad, go ahead and buy the canned onions, because they’re honestly cheaper and taste exactly the same.  It might come in packaging that suggests it’s a salad topping, but you can still put it on your salad nonetheless.

Overall: 5/10.  It’s not that there’s anything wrong with these, it’s just that you’re paying more for less…a 6 oz. container of French fried onions, which is exactly what these are, to a “T”, is just fifty cents more.  All this so it can be repackaged to look more like a salad topper.  There’s no need to do any math…that’s a far better deal.  If you really want to top your salad with crispy onions, don’t waste your money on Tuscan Garden‘s lightly salted version.  Grab a can of Chef’s Cupboard French fried onions, save some money, and have even more to put on, or in, whatever foods you want to.

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