Sunday, April 26, 2015

Ripples Bacon Cheeseburger Sliders Rippled Potato Chips (Big Lots)

Everyone responsible should be killed.
Okay, okay, I knew going into this bag that these chips were going to be complete junk.  I mean, how can a potato chip accurately portray all the flavors in a bacon cheeesburger?  Moreover, why would one even try, and why would anyone buy it?  Still, I tried Ripples’ Onion Blossom chips (review above) and they weren’t too bad, so I decided to give these the benefit of the doubt.

First things first, they are terrible.  Like, probably even worse than I was expecting.  But the main problem I have is that the flavor doesn’t necessarily fail in the way you would expect it to.  It’s such a bona fide failure because one has to dig to even find any hint of bacon or cheddar flavors whatsoever.  It would have been better marketed as a hot dog chip, as a heavy relish flavor gives way to a subtle smokiness, as well as a complex mix of other flavors (I think I got a hint of ketchup in there somewhere).  Now keep in mind “complex” is used in the loosest of terms--I think they just threw a bunch of chemicals and potaotes in a vat and prayed something resembling a cheeseburger would come out--but there really is a lot going on in each bite.  The curious (and ironic) thing about the cheese flavor being so hidden is that it’s just about the only “real” ingredient in the entire thing, and you can’t even taste it.  That’s pretty depressing.

If I were to give Ripples, the potato chip company responsible for this atrocity, any advice, it would simply be:  If you’re going to make a bacon cheeseburger chip, focus on getting bacon and cheese flavors in here.  Everything else should be secondary, and relish shouldn’t even be in here at all.  I mean, have the “culinary experts” that assisted in this atrocity, ever actually eaten a bacon cheeseburger?  Honestly, I was just expecting the flavor of Tato Skins in potato chip form, an idea that still isn’t even that appealing.  Yet it’s loads better than what I actually got.

The only plus side, if anything can even be considered a “plus” at this point, is that a bag was only $2 at Big Lots.  But if you make the same mistake I did and actually try a bag of these, you’ll quickly find that any nominal feelings of value will be quickly squandered when you realize just how offensively bad these chips are.

Overall: 1/10.  Ever wanted to know what dog food tastes like?  This is probably a close approximation, only worse.  A bacon cheeseburger with no bacon or cheese flavors to be found; instead, you get a bunch of condiments, including relish (?) and ketchup.  Supposedly, actual “culinary experts“ helped in the creation of this mess; if that‘s the truth, they should be killed.  I thought the only products this bad were required by law to have Larry the Cable Guy’s face on them, but I guess I was sadly mistaken.

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