MAMA COZZI'S MINI SAUSAGE CALZONES PLATTER
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| "Honey, I shrunk the calzones!" |
In preparation for this year’s Super Bowl, we have Mama Cozzi’s Mini Sausage Calzones, available as a special buy. These are adorable little things, and they also come with two generous helpings of marinara sauce. My wife wasn’t a fan of the sauce at all, but I thought it was serviceable; it certainly wasn’t anything to write home about, but I thought it was certainly edible. It reminded me of a typical jarred sauce that you might find at the supermarket; if you like those, then you should definitely like these.
The calzones themselves were pretty underwhelming, though let the records show that I’m not a huge fan of calzones to begin with. Call me crazy, but since this was from their take and bake line, I was expecting some semi-fresh cheese blended with some semi-fresh sausage, and that’s not even close to what you get. Imagine the filling of Hot Pockets, and you’re getting closer…it’s just a mass of processed meat and cheese that is more forgettable than anything else. No, the taste wasn’t vile--you might even say that, under the right circumstances, it’s even serviceable--but it’s not anything I could imagine anyone actually getting excited to eat. In other words, look up “meh” in the dictionary, and, assuming it’s actually in there, you’ll find a picture of this right next to it.
Now, normally I can at least count on giving Mama Cozzi products extra points for value, and that usually helps in the rare instances that I’m disappointed with one of their products. But I found the asking price of $7 for 18 mini calzones to be a little steep. Maybe if these were “fresher”, or at least had the appearance of being so, they could be given a pass. But with the heavily-processed filling (seriously, the ingredients go on for a country mile), they end up feeling like a gyp more than anything else.
Overall: 4/10. The very definition of “meh”. They don’t taste bad, but the filling reminded me more of Hot Pockets than a fresh, deli-style calzone, and for $7, I was expecting more than a mini Hot Pocket. The accompanying marinara is certainly tomato-y, but also unremarkable in just about every way. Even my calzone-loving wife was more than disappointed. Pick up one of their tasty take and bake pizzas instead.
I just had a pepperoni calzone and would have to say it's a few steps up from a hotpocket in that it had layers of real pepperoni and the crust is more like real baked bread than a hot pocket. The problem was the lack of cheese but I found a solution. We usually have some grated mozzarella b/c most frozen pizzas & Italian foods never have enough cheese on them. So, I microwaved the Calzone for about a minute, then took it out and cut it in half. Than I lifted each half and sprinkled more mozzarella into the Calzone on top of the pepperoni, positioned it back together on the plate w/ a napkin on top and nuked it another 30 seconds to a minute. Then took it out and let it sit a minute or two. It was very good. Not pizzeria quality but way better than a hot pocket.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good idea. We generally have some grated mozzarella on hand, as well, so that'd be a good way to dress it up and add a little extra pizazz. Not sure I'll ever pick them up again, but I'd definitely try this if I did.
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