Monday, March 31, 2014

Bremer Fettuccine Alfredo Frozen TV Dinner (Aldi)

RED FLAG: When "Made with real Half & Half" is a main selling point.
There was a time, several years ago, when I was a bachelor, that I virtually lived off of TV dinners.  They were cheap, they were quick and easy to prepare, and there was just the right amount of fat, cholesterol, and processed additives in them to make them surprisingly tasty.

Thankfully, my days of relying on them as a main source of nutrients are long gone, but I’m not against grabbing some every now and again.  Not so I can relive my glorious bachelor days, but simply because they make a good snack (What can I say?  I’m a health nut!), or a good dinner substitute in case my wife doesn’t feel like cooking, or we both get too lazy and there’s no food in the house.

It is with this mindset that I purchased a couple Bremer Fettucine Alfredo frozen dinners from a recent trip to Aldi.  After all, the national brands that I had years ago where rich, creamy and really pretty good, so I figured that Bremer’s version would have no problems stacking up to those memories.  I was wrong.

First of all, there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of sauce.  In the past, I remembered having way too much, and here you get a small puddle that might be enough to lightly coat your entire serving of noodles, but certainly not enough to drown them in.  I mean let’s be real here:  These things exist in a world where words like ‘healthy’ and ‘nutritious’ have no value, so I at least expect enough alfredo sauce to make me die a happy man should I suddenly collapse of a heart attack in mid-meal.

But then again, this thought process took place before I actually tried the sauce…one bite in and not only was I wishing there was less, but I was wondering where Bremer, and by extension Aldi, could go so terribly wrong.  The main taste in the sauce is…salt.  Salt.  Out of all the unhealthy yet delicious ingredients in a typical alfredo sauce (heavy cream, butter…parmesan cheese for God’s sake!), and they have to overload it with something that’s not even in a typical fettuccine alfredo recipe.  Give me a break.

While we’re complaining about things, I would also like to direct your attention to the front package, which proudly exclaims “Made with real half and half!”  Well, that right there explains why this sauce is nowhere near as rich and creamy as it should be, and maybe why massive amounts of salt is needed to give it any type of flavor.  It’s also a perfect example of what irks me with packaging nowadays, where products feel the need to tout the only real ingredient in the entire thing.  Even if it is something as pointless and underwhelming as half-and-half.

Overall: 3.5/10.  While it’s not THAT offensively terrible, I will admit that I had some relatively high hopes for Bremer’s Fettuccine Alfredo, and it didn’t even come close to matching them, let alone exceeding them.  So my ensuing disappointment has been factored into the score.  Some good-looking egg noodles are destroyed by an overly salty (?) alfredo sauce that’s proudly “made with real half and half”, as the box hilariously declares.  Seriously, let’s focus on that for another second.  You really want to mention that instead of heavy cream, your terrible sauce was made with a coffee creamer?  Anyway, I ate it because I was hungry, but it was nowhere near satisfying.  This is one of the rare times I’ll say avoid this stuff and go with any national brand.  They’re also usually on sale for a few nickels cheaper anyway.

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